tablesaw: Two yellow roses against a bright blue sky. (Family Roses)
I can't yet say all I want to say, but I learned this morning that [personal profile] tam_nonlinear is dead.

I knew her from LJ from over a decade ago, but like many LJ/DW contacts, I wasn't in touch as much for a while. I would occasionally see the updates on DW about her garden, her cats, and her clinic-escort volunteering. She was one of the people I was hoping to get in contact with again.

Her family has asked for donations to be made to the Washington Area Clinic-Defense Task Force.

Fair Night.

Feb. 6th, 2004 11:09 am
tablesaw: -- (Default)
Recently, a member of the [livejournal.com profile] npl passed away. Her hame was Mary Youngquist Hazard, but she was known to the Krewe as Nightowl.

A few weeks ago, she sent a note with a self-addressed postcard asking me about a recent puzzle I had authored. I thought it was a cool thing to do, but with the crazyness of the past two months, I forgot to respond. It's a bit late now.

This poem was written by her, and it appears in a few places on the web. It's a good poem with a remarkable restraint. Godspeed, Nightowl.

Winter Reigns

Shimmering, gleaming, glistening glow--
Winter reigns, splendiferous snow!
Won't this sight, this stainless scene,
Endlessly yield days supreme?

Eying ground, deep piled, delights
Skiers scaling garish heights.
Still like eagles soaring, glide
Eager racers; show-offs slide.

Ecstatic children, noses scarved--
Dancing gnomes, seem magic carved--
Doing graceful leaps. Snowballs,
Swishing globules, sail low walls.

Surely year-end's special lure
Eases sorrow we endure,
Every year renews shared dream,
Memories sweet, that timeless stream.

— Mary Youngquist

FriNYTX: 17:30.

Passing.

Jul. 28th, 2003 06:43 am
tablesaw: -- (Default)
Bob Hope, who was a friend of my grandparents, passed away last night. They've had updates from Dolores occasionally, so they knew he wasn't doing too well, but so shortly after my aunt's death, I hope they'll be OK.

Blah

Jul. 23rd, 2003 09:06 am
tablesaw: -- (Default)
I'm really not happy with my life right now, and I don't feel like doing laundry. I haven't felt like doing laundry for a while now, but that was more of a general indolence. Today, I just can't bring myself to go out and deal with a loud room of angry machines churning and churning away. Last night I had a horrible dream in which somebody died and I woke up sobbing. And now, things are just wrong, wrong, wrong.
tablesaw: -- (Default)
On Monday, I saw my friend Veek online. She's in town helping to take care of family and, although she's busy, I wanted to connect with her before the summer went ahead to far. So I asked if I we could go for a meal together. "What a coincidence," she said. "My friend Jon is in town visiting, and I'd love for you to meet him." So, a plan was set to go out Monday night. )

WedNYTX: 7:30. I have absolutely no idea what 34A is supposed to mean. WedLATX: 7.
tablesaw: Tablesaw (Thin Manual)
I haven't felt like writing much since getting back from the NPL convention, and I'm not wholly sure why. I have been in a big reading mood, though. Over the past few days, I've been slowly working through The Canary Trainer, If on a Winter's Night a Traveler, and Swords Against Death, depending on which I decide to pick up at a given time. I've also been recovering a bit. And out a bit. My cousin just returned from military training, a kind of post-boot-camp graduate school for those training to be officers. He regaled us with stories of the Fear-Factor-esque program (designed to eradicate potential sources of panic in those who would have to issue orders), and in return, we filled him in on what had happened regarding my aunt's death. Shortly before he entered this program, my cousin had told him that if something happened to her mother, they were not going to call him, because they wanted him to be able to complete the program without feeling obliged to help. He didn't hear the news until a few weeks after. Now he's back and we're putting the pieces back together for him.

Also, I've started running again. )

SunNYTX: 31:27. The last step was a little confusing, but all in all it was a lot of fun.
tablesaw: -- (Default)
Last week, in the wake of the funeral (which, tangentially, had no formal wake) I was really into junk food. When I'm feeling down, I'm not very much into good food. Good food, I feel, is pretty much a waste when one is in the dumps; it's impossible to really appreciate it. I prefer junk food of various sorts. The day after I heard of my aunt's death, I went to Solley's. (Solley's was bought out by Jerry's Famous Deli a while back, but it somehow managed to maintain a degree of independence and is nice and quiet if you eat there early in the morning.) I had a Monte Cristo sandwich, one of my favorite indulgences. If you're unfamiliar with the Monte Cristo [replaced dead link, 10/26/10], imagine French Toast, except that instead of bread, it's a ham, turkey, and cheese sandwich. The kitchen at Solley's makes theirs particularly greasy. It's what I needed; it was indulgent in a way that didn't need my senses to be particularly keen. In the next few weeks, I made pizza parlors deliver more disgusting food to my house than I had requested in my history of the carriage house (for breakfast even!). And then, of course, I was still eating it days afterward.

Anyway, the pendulum swings back, and I had an intense desire not to eat things with more oil than JP Getty. This morning, I defrosted a chicken breast and had stir-fry chicken and green beans with rice. It tasted good. Today, I think I'll have something fishy.

WedNYTX: 1:30. This time possibly has less to do with my 1337 cr055w0rd sk|11z than with the fact that I turned off the timer and forgot to restart it.

Regrets.

Jun. 23rd, 2003 06:33 pm
tablesaw: -- (Default)
The funeral is over, and perhaps, things can become something approaching normal again. I don't have high hopes that I'll be able to get my sleeping re-regulated by tomorrow for work, though. There's a lot of it that I really don't want to talk about, though. It was hard, since, more than sadness, I was feeling rage. It puts one into a more awkward position in large uncomfortable groups. When one is sad, then if one breaks down, there are tears, perhaps a swaying of legs, and people to support one. When one is angry, then if one cracks, blunt objects come into contact with things or persons from which the should be kept away.

Also, I heard from Will Shortz at the New York Times passing on my crossword puzzle. A while back, Paula Vogel visited UCSB, and I sat in on a miniclass she taught for the playwriting classes. (At the time, I wasn't yet enrolled in the classes.) Rather than delve into the minutiae of craft, she spent a great deal of time instructing us on How to Read Rejection Letters. She had several signs and tricks, the most memorable (and most useless on email) was to wet the paper of the letter (possibly by licking your thumb and smudging) to see if the signature was signed or Xeroxed. Anyway, it's a very helpful skill. Using it, I am heartened by Shortz's note: "The theme, I think, isn't really a New York Times sort of subject. Something entirely pop culture-related like this would probably be better suited for a publication with a younger audience, like Games magazine." How do I read this? that the quality is up to par (which was a bigger anxiety for me), but the subject matter makes it an inappropriate for the audience. Vogel was very big on this, understanding from a rejection letter when the editor (or artistic director) thinks your work is bad and when he or she thinks it's good or interesting or promising but can't select it for other reasons. I'll probably send this on to Games and Kappa (Games' parent) and start working on the next one.

Onward and upward.

Launch.

Jun. 21st, 2003 04:34 am
tablesaw: Sketch of an antique tablesaw (Antigua)
I woke up early today because of heartburn/acid reflux. It's not chronic, but will arise during stressful situations turning my cherished last few hours of sleep unto dreaded hours of tossing and turning.

I headed over to my parents' house for a family gathering. I arrived late and only got to stay for about forty minutes, so I missed the initial sombreity. When I arrived, long hours of poring over my family's massive and unorganized collection of photographs had led to a boisterous recounting of fond memories of each other. I was present to hear a cycle of tales revolving around my uncle's various forays into San Fernando Valley piano bars wherein he was known as "The Good Doctor." As the party deflated, so did the spirits, as everyone struggled to remember when and where the various services were being held.

The party raised my morale a bit, and today's puzzle party will be a fantastic distraction, as always. But it's going to be a tough weekend.

SatNYTX: 20:30. I thought that IIOI was a good guess for 14A, given the font I was using. SatLATX: 20.

Blugh.

Jun. 18th, 2003 07:58 pm
tablesaw: -- (Default)
Yesterday, I didn't think I'd get any sleep, so I called into work that I wouldn't be there. I didn't get to sleep until about 8 p.m. This morning I was feeling better, but now I'm feeling much, much worse.

Everything about me feels like shit right now.

MonNYTX: 4:45. MonLATX: 3:08. TueNYTX: 5:46. TueLATX: 6:30. Crossing of 3D&14A was a bitch. WedNYTX: 7:30. WedLATX: 5:30.
tablesaw: -- (Default)
A little while ago I was awakened by screams. They were mine. When you try to jolt me back into awakeness when I am not prepared to be awake, my mind screams, and my body follows. I think it may be a defense mechanism to scare off whatever is around while the brain catches up. After just barely falling asleep, demanded my attention gets you screams.

In this case, it was my parents not screaming. Both of them. Knocking on the back door of my carriage house, which is in my bedroom. They were calling to tell me that my aunt had died. Today, I guess. My brain still not awake didn't quite catch what was going on. I can't imagine how my mother must have felt with her sister dead and her soon screaming in incomprehensible confusion.

Anyway. This is not a good day.

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