tablesaw: Gaff, from <cite>Blade Runner</cite> (Gaff)
When I left work yesterday, the Internet seemed rather calm. I was away for a few hours because [ profile] ojouchan and I went to hear Mozart at the Hollywood Bowl using my firm's box seats. And when I came back, there was crazy.

A whole bunch of racefail from various SF fandom cons popped up, as linkishly summarized by [personal profile] coffeeandink. I haven't even had a chance to look at the WriterCon issues, because I've been reconstruct my blown mind after the mindblowingly idiotic statements made by [ profile] arhyalon. I expect that [community profile] linkspam will be kicking into gear over it too.

Penny Arcade also took a dive into the "seduction community." Tycho offers some choice quotes like:
I'm fairly certain the purpose of this course is to make you a better predator of women. Check out their offers of "in-field training," as though you were going to hunt antelopes from a jeep in the Goddamned Savannah.
Gabe, on the other hand, apparently "decided to play devil's advocate" without doing a whole lot of research intot he topic, which was a bad idea. He finishes up saying
I'm a little worried that guys reading the site might take our discussion here as some sort of endorsement and I want to make sure that isn't the case. While some of their advice is probably fine I think the majority of it is really sleazy. Again, I can't blame guys for seeking out help. All joking aside though, I just want to make it clear that I don't think the seduction community is the place to go.
Emphasis mine, because although Tycho doesn't mention what started him down the rabbit hole, it may have been the recent massacre by George Sodini a deeply misogynistic man who regularly participated in "pick-up artist" seminars before taking two guns to a gym and then opening fire, killing three women and injuring nine before using the last bullet for himself.

Alas, a Blog has a collection of responses from "men's-rights activists, anti-feminists and other misogynists." (The original post includes a trigger warning for the quotes, and they are not for the faint of heart.) And these apologies for Soldini represent an extreme of Gabe's empathy. It's part of the reason, I try to divorce considering "intent" when it comes to things like this, because a person can ascribe a good intention or a seemingly reasonable justification to even the most heinous acts.

It's got me thinking about the nature of what "intention" is at all. Last year, [ profile] adamcadre wrote about a psychological study investigating how we determine waht is intentional. I wrote a comment thinking about how intention intersects interactive fiction. In response, Adam wrote The Nemean Lion (Z-machine file, requires an IF interpreter to play), and I've been thinking about the last scene in this respect.

Meanwhile, there's also conflict in the world of logic-puzzles, where puzzle plagiarism has reared its ugly head, with Conceptis Puzzles, purveyor of soulless, computer-generated, mass-produced logic puzzles, appropriated the concept and presentation of Strimko for their "new" feature Chain Sudoku. [ profile] motris and [ profile] onigame (constructors of the eagerly anticipated and soon-to-be-released Mutant Sudoku, a book of hand-crafted, soulful logic puzzles) have weighed in.

Yes, even Sudokuland is full of the fail. I'm going to bed.


Jul. 19th, 2003 11:11 am
tablesaw: -- (Default)
A while back, I started dating a girl. Then I stopped talking about it. The reason I stopped talking about it is because my offhand mention of it on my journal caused to psychos to stalk my journal because they thought I was dating someone they were obsessed with. One actually had guessed correctly. So I was a bit skittish about that.

Things aren't going so well, and I don't know what it is I want to say about it. It's all tangled up in a lot of messy things, and I'm convinced that this relationship is not doing either of us any good.

Bleh. I'm just going to try for some sleep.
tablesaw: Katsuhiko Jinnai, from El Hazard (Jinnai)
Stew of The Negro Problem (the site doesn't seem to like Mozilla) recently put out a request to the Stew/Negro Problem Mailing List asking for the lyrics to the album Naked Dutch Painter. It seems that a reporter was asking for them, for ease of review, and Stew didn't have access to his copies, which were on his computer far away.

I was at work, bored, and [ profile] wjukknibs had just recently returned my copy of the album that had been sitting uselessly in his apartment for several weeks, so I thought I'd do it. It was fun; I tested myself to see how well I remembered the lyrics and challenged myself to pattern the verses into more or less even metrical lines. By the time I was done, however, there had been a message to the list from Stew saying that he was going to use the transcripted lyrics from a previously existing site. (I receive daily digests that don't show up until around 2 a.m.) That bummed me out, but I sent the lyrics anyway, to Stew and to the maintainer of the other site, because I thought that my transcriptions were interesting, too, (Mine, at least, had capital letters, if sometimes an overabundance of punctuation) and because I had taken down three songs not already on the site.

Well, just now, I got an email back from Stew, in which he commiserates about downtime on the lobster shift. Moreover, he eventually opted to send my lyrics along instead of the other site's versions because "at a quick glance it seemed that [mine] were cleaner."

tablesaw: -- (Default)
A while back, a friend of mine abandoned her LJ blog for a MovableType blog on her own site. As she relocated, she said that she was "not particularly enamored of the social dynamic potentially (!) created by LiveJournal." I only abstractly agreed with her, then. I fully agree with her now.

There are 470335 active users on LiveJournal. I don't read 470260 of them. It's nice to have perspective.

Egg me on.

Mar. 25th, 2003 10:27 am
tablesaw: -- (Default)
I'm considering throwing an Easter/Egg Hunting/Game Playing party on Easter. Nothing particularly Catholic, I just feel like having a party, and that's as nice a Sunday as any. However, there are some problems. First, I don't know if I really have any sort of clue what I would be doing, other than something with hidden eggs and maybe clues to where they are. Second, Wendy has informed my that, being galaphobic (avoiding parties), would avoid any sort of party with lots of people. So there's an incentive to make that day a party of two.

But are other people out there interested in such a party? If I could throw together something nice, I may just do and try really hard to get Wendy up.


Mar. 24th, 2003 12:02 pm
tablesaw: -- (Default)
I've been threatening to clean for weeks now, but haven't done so. A lot of that has been the show eating up lots of my time. Further, it greatly diminished the time I spend at home three days a week, making it easier to deal with the mess. But for the past few weekends, I've had something keeping me at the computer. And her name is Wendy.

(Well, actually, it's not. But come on! This is a public web journal, I'm not going to give your her real name!)

Wendy lives a bit far away, but thankfully not far enough that we can't meet with a modicum of planning. In fact, we did so last week. And it was very wonderful. Before that, though, we would chat for hours, getting the courage do meet for real. And so I'd end up frittering away my days instead of cleaning.

Well, Wendy has a job that prevents her from IMing at three in the morning, which means that I have time to clean. Which I did today. Started, at least. After some lazy time, I cleaned up my entire living room; I'm going to deal with my bedroom tonight. It was important to do so because tonight I'm going to be getting an actual sofa! Now I have two soft pieces of furniture on which to lounge!

I'm not sure when [ profile] wjukknibs will be over, so I'd better get to bed early (which is to say, now). Good night.
tablesaw: -- (Default)
Not really, but it suddenly feels like it.

[ profile] fauxpas's journal is suddenly listed as deleted. This is bad and sad, and it makes me mad. Especially since she showed up in my dreams again last night! One would expect I'd know what her face looked like by now. Hopefully, she'll be back. Otherwise, it will be a great loss of an island of eloquence amid the sea of crapulence that is LiveJournal.


Sep. 19th, 2002 11:06 am
tablesaw: -- (Default)
So, as I mentioned earlier, Ex has begun reading and commenting in my journal. I'm actually kind of glad. This may be a way to painlessly restart a friendship, from a distance.

She also directed me to her own webjournal. I don't feel comfortable giving the address even in this smaller area, but let me reprint a section I found early on.

I tried to work out (alone, in my head) a breakup that I had a long time ago... )

As you can imagine, this struck me pretty hard. But really, I don't have anything more to say, I think, than what I posted as a response:

So, yeah, I found you... )

I don't think there's much more to say, and I need to get to bed. Must wake up for Survivor Thailand, you know.
tablesaw: A young Shawn Spencer learns proper saw technique from his dad. (Cartoon)
My journal's not completely closed. Just mostly. Something happened that I need some time to digest before I post anything much. I just need to talk things out a bit with some people, including those listed in my last entry, before I start revealing it to the world. Also, I'm not in painful-angsty-agony-land, quite the opposite, so don't stress yourself out to talk to me, especially if you're dealing with a transatlantic flight. Just be aware that I'm going to pounce on you when I get a chance to talk.
tablesaw: -- (Default)
First, some history.

I wrote an entry about an email from Ex. A few hours later, I get an email from Ex answering the question that I wrote about in my journal but never asked her. Apparently, the information had been conveyed to her by a "mutual acquaintance," despite said acquaintance (hereinafter referred to as Mr. C) having never spoken directly to me about it. Since the mysterious Mr. C was reading my journal, I asked him to identify himself to me. Since that time, my journal has only been available for a few known persons to read. No one has come forward to take responsibility.

So today, my journal returns. Since Mr. C obviously does not intend to come forward, there is no sense in withholding my journal until he (or she) decides to come clean. As such, I am going back over the past two weeks' worth of entries and declassifying them, accompanied by the following message to Mr. C:

Mr. C (and any others like you)

Feel free to read my journal. That's why it's here, to be read. It is not intended only for strangers or only for close friends. But it is not to be used as a source of gossip. In fact, it should be the opposite. The presence of an online journal should prevent anyone from needing to do anything other than point to a url to exchange information about me.

That said, my journal is not a strictly factual creature. Oftentimes, I write more to release emotions than to chronicle the details of my life. Those times, especially, it is important to keep in mind the context of a journal, lest idle musings or ventings be taken as serious questions or concerns.

I had assumed that these ideas would be self-evident to anyone interested in reading my journal. Obviously, I was wrong. If these concepts are still too difficult to grasp, please feel free to remove yourself even further from my life than you already are.



Two weeks.

Jul. 6th, 2002 06:56 am
tablesaw: -- (Default)
It's been two weeks since I switched my journal to friends-only. Two weeks where the first thing on my journal page is a request to contact me. Two weeks that someone hasn't.

When I get home, I'm going to retroactively de-friends-only-ize my journal, with a longer explanation. Till then, some shorter notes.

The deadline for the August Enigma is soon. In fact, tomorrow, so I need to buckle down and get some stuff in. I already completed one, a collaboration with [ profile] tahnan. I've got one I need to revise and two I need to finish. So, the cavalcade of clerihew is a bit postponed. But in keeping with my NPL bent:

[ profile] davidglasser's
One of the harassers
Asking me to mete
Out hints for a flat complete.

[ profile] saxikath
Makes up math
Problems about cattle traders
For second-graders.

The Fourth of July with [ profile] wjukknibs and company was a lot of fun. It makes me wish I were going to Vegas with lots of people I'd like to spend more time with. Actually, no. It makes me wish that all of those people had decided to go somewhere more interesting.

Speaking of going places interesting, I need to start planning for travel again. My cousin is getting married this fall in Portland, which makes me wonder if I should also try to swing up to Seattle. Then again, [ profile] veek might send me psychic bombs of death vibes if I don't visit Boston/Providence. And [ profile] wjukknibs is going to be going to Vegas again. (At least, I assume he is. He always seems to be.) Choices, choices, choices.

It was tough sleeping yesterday. I had to take a very active role in my dreams. I was aware, on a very basic level, that the only reason I was asleep was because I had a light mask on my face and was dreaming. If the dream ended, I knew I would immediately return to consciousness and be unable to get back to sleep. So I had to constantly think of new and interesting places to take my dream, to be sure that I got enough sleep.

MonNYTX: 6:30. Made some mistakes, and also nearly dropped my lunch on the floor. MonLATX: 5. TueNYTX: 4:30. TueLATX: 6:15. Who the hell is 24A? WedNYTX: 6.Under the circumstances, the clue for 52D is fantastic. WedLATX: 8:15. 54D? ThuNYTX: 20. Bleah. ThuLATX: 6:30. FriNYTX: 11:30. FriLATX 7.


Jun. 25th, 2002 12:37 pm
tablesaw: -- (Default)
Today I got email from Ex and T.

My anger has receded regarding the Journal-gossip-Ex matter, and she sent a very nice letter, to which i was able to respond a bit more myself, telling her a bit about the tired moving this weekend.

T. emailed me in response to an email I sent a while ago. I know that her life has been a bit busy. And she's still busy. But it's always nice to know that she remembers I'm here, especially when I haven't gotten to see her at Mass.

A change.

Jun. 22nd, 2002 08:59 am
tablesaw: -- (Default)
Recently, somthing happened that made me question the way that I run my journal. I made a brief post about my Ex on a very trivial matter. Within hours, I received an email from Ex saying that a "mutual acquaintance" had mentioned my concern over the email and proceeded to explain what had happened. She also mentioned that said person did seem to ahve talked to me in person. Which makes sense because after I posted the entry, I proceeded to forget the entire thing, until I got the second email. I certainly didn't mention it to anyone who, to my knowledge, knows Ex.

So someone who reads my journal, practically immediately contacted Ex about it. Ex admonished me saying that if I had felt slighted I should have just written her. Well, I wasn't going to write her and ask her about it because I knew that by doing so I'd just look silly. I know I can become paranoid at times, but I also know that it's usually for no reason. So while the email unsettled me enough to make me put up an entry expressing my confusion, in no way was I demanding or expecting an answer. But somebody has taken that confusion out of context and thrown it to Ex without my permission.

It had been my assumption that anyone reading my journal would have the sense to keep a certain sense of privacy about it. Instead, someone seems to be using it as grist for a gossip mill. And I'm pissed off.

I don't believe that Ex knew about my journal until I told her. If she did, there really was no reason for her not to tell me. I do have a short list of who I think it is and to what extent their actions may have been malicious.

I'm not upset that Ex may know things about my journal. In fact, I've given her the URL. I'm not even upset someone reading my journal would be someone I may not like or someone who may be in contact with Ex or both. I'm upset most greatly by the speed with which this gossip traveled. There was not a long period of time for someone to read the journal and inform Ex and then for Ex to email me, which makes me wonder if these types of updates have been occurring for quite a while. I am upset that whoever was sharing things I wrote in my journal with Ex didn't tell me. And I'm angry at the way I was taken out of context. I do not want to censor myself any more than I logically have to. If this means that future posts regarding Ex will be friends-locked, so be it, but I'm not going to spend the rest of my journal wondering what whispers it's fostering.

So long as I suspect that the information in my journal is going to be bounced around be people I know or used to know in ways that will come back to hurt me, I am forced to limit access to my posts. It is my intention that, after this matter is resolved, I'll revise these posts and remove the security restrictions on them. But this journal has become a part of my life, just like a more private journal, and I don't want to let one jerkoff completely shut-off an outlet for my writing.

If any of you now on this list know both Ex and me, let me know, now. I need closure on this.

FriLATX: 6:15. SatNYTX: 18. I'm having trouble with the crossing of 40D and 44A. SatLATX: 9:30.
tablesaw: -- (Default)
Will whoever emailed Ex about my recent post please contact me? I am keenly interested, on this matter, in who is reading my journal.


tablesaw: -- (Default)
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