This is very interesting to me since I have very ambiguous feelings about Christianity and the Church myself.
That is to say: I have fairly unambiguous and positive feelings about Jesus, but I find it difficult to reconcile the teachings of Christ with those of the modern Church. Or in fact a large chunk of the Church post-Constantine.
I grew up in a Pentecostal church which had done a fairly impressive black hole imitation: it had imploded, generating its own gravitational field which was so intense nobody could leave, no signals could enter, and time had kind of slowed near the event horizon, leaving everyone trapped in the 1940s.
By way of example: I didn't watch TV or a movie or listen to mainstream popular music until several years after I had left this church. Around 1993, I believe, when I was 22. I spent most of the rest of the 90s playing cultural catch-up.
How we came to leave that church was an interesting story in itself and far too long for this forum, but it left me with the distinct impression that like most things, the Christian Church has both a dark side and a light side, and sometimes they're so closely intertwined that it's almost impossible to tell the difference when you're close to them.
And yet... I still believe in Christianity as a positive force in the world. Only, I'm starting to think that the Church that will actually heal people will look almost nothing like the kind of churches we see today, which seem to spend most of their time actively repressing the human spirit in a misguided attempt to Fight Evil (tm). There are Christians I know who have managed to rise above this and seem to have access to enormous reserves of inner kindness, strength and faith; these people are some of my heroes. I have other heroes who would not call themselves Christian, but to me they also model aspects of the character of Christ which I would very much like to emulate.
It is an interesting time, I think, in which to be religious.
My experiences
That is to say: I have fairly unambiguous and positive feelings about Jesus, but I find it difficult to reconcile the teachings of Christ with those of the modern Church. Or in fact a large chunk of the Church post-Constantine.
I grew up in a Pentecostal church which had done a fairly impressive black hole imitation: it had imploded, generating its own gravitational field which was so intense nobody could leave, no signals could enter, and time had kind of slowed near the event horizon, leaving everyone trapped in the 1940s.
By way of example: I didn't watch TV or a movie or listen to mainstream popular music until several years after I had left this church. Around 1993, I believe, when I was 22. I spent most of the rest of the 90s playing cultural catch-up.
How we came to leave that church was an interesting story in itself and far too long for this forum, but it left me with the distinct impression that like most things, the Christian Church has both a dark side and a light side, and sometimes they're so closely intertwined that it's almost impossible to tell the difference when you're close to them.
And yet... I still believe in Christianity as a positive force in the world. Only, I'm starting to think that the Church that will actually heal people will look almost nothing like the kind of churches we see today, which seem to spend most of their time actively repressing the human spirit in a misguided attempt to Fight Evil (tm). There are Christians I know who have managed to rise above this and seem to have access to enormous reserves of inner kindness, strength and faith; these people are some of my heroes. I have other heroes who would not call themselves Christian, but to me they also model aspects of the character of Christ which I would very much like to emulate.
It is an interesting time, I think, in which to be religious.