Close Shaves.

[tablesaw]

So, after having a flight generously donated by the totally awesome and totally miles-having satch, there were some problems.

First, the bus company raised its prices, and ojouchan decided she probably wasn't going to Boston. So, I asked hahathor to prod her to keep going, and then I bought her the tickets as a "Valentine's Day" gift.

Then, this morning, she said that she probably wasn't going to go to Boston because she'd been offered the lead in her Bhangra performance and couldn't miss performances.

This time, I really panicked. I mean, honestly, how much control do I have over that? So I scanned her college's website for information on Bhangra, found the two people most likely to be the contact people for the group, and asked them to tell her that she didn't really need to go to rehearsal.

I probably didn't need to do that, Hathor managed to sway Ojouchan by preemptively announcing a party on her behalf on Sunday.

There are some difficulties.

One, is that, every time the trip was looking to be off, Ojou pushed hard with a line of "I'm not going to go . . . unless there's a particular reason you want me to be there." It's been getting progressively harder to find ways of actually convincing her to go without raising suspicion. I have already accepted the fact that she'll be mad at me for keeping things secret, but that's because she doesn't much care for surprises regarding very importnat things, while I feel very strongly that some things need to be surprises. At the end of it, both of us will be engaged to somebody cool, so I'm hoping it all works out.

There's a more serious issue that has me feeling uneasy, though. The party announced on Sunday has been marketed as a party for Ojouchan, which is something that has made her very, very, very happy. She often worries that I'm overshadowing her among our puzzling acquaintances (though not with our close puzzle friends). So I'm asking you, if you're in the Boston area and able to go to this party, DO NOT TELL PEOPLE THAT I'M GOING TO BE THERE. Do not say, "Don't worry, it's actually a party about announcing an engagement." I know that she'll have a great time, but it tears me up that it won't be the same ego boost it is right now.

I mean, I'm obviously an egomaniac here. I'm manipulating every event without her knowledge and displaying all of my brilliant intricacies to the select few, but this weekend is not about me; it's about the woman I love.

Comments

[amythyst.livejournal.com]

K, here's a suggestion to make the party not focussed on you - don't go. I'm not saying don't go to Boston or don't ask her to marry you, but don't attend the party. Show up near the end of the party, maybe at the end of the party would be best, and ask her to marry you then. Then she gets the wonderful party goodness and the engagement goodness without feeling like either was overshadowed by her relationship with you. :)

[hahathor.livejournal.com]

I don't think that's such a hot idea, actually. I know Jonaya, she's going to want it to happen in some place special & romantic, where she looks her best. We've worked it out that Saturday night, she's going to be some place that is important to her, where she'll be looking hotter than hot, and where there will be fine wine & food available to celebrate.

[amythyst.livejournal.com]

*shrug* Not knowing when he's flying in, what type of party it was, when he was planning on asking her (sounded from the entry like it might be DURING the party) or any other details except that the party was Friday, that's what I came up with. But you're right, I don't know her and, really, I don't know him.

[amythyst.livejournal.com]

Er...Sunday.

[hahathor.livejournal.com]

Nah, the party's Sunday, and it'll be a great chance for Jonaya to show off her ring and get lots of congratulations. But the actual proposal will be at a posh restaurant in Cambridge that has good associations for Jonaya. My bf & I will take her there and find someway to surreptitiously sneak off (he'll probably have a smoke, I'll go the bathroom) then T will show up. We'll probably sneak back in and try to be inobtrusive as we watch the proposal, then the two of us will leave.

I'm so excited about being a part of this! I'm all giddy like!

[hahathor.livejournal.com]

I think you may be overthinking this. I can't imagine why - I mean, it's not like it's anything important.

Most of the people at the party won't know anything about your attendance until they get there, so they'll be coming for Jonaya. And frankly, we'd have a party for her no matter what, and people would come no matter what. And trust me, with her new ring and morning-after glow, she's going to be the center of attention. Really, anything having to do with the engagement or the wedding, it's all about her. Get used to being an afterthought.

[duchez.livejournal.com]

Well said. Weddings and engagement are all about the girl. The guy is just the prop. An essential one, mind you, since there can't be an engagement or a wedding without the groom, but still a prop. People aren't going to be rushing to the guy saying, "ooh! you are engaged!" No. They are going to be rushing to the girl saying, "ooh! congratulations! Yay! Let me see the ring! Oh, it's so pretty!"

[isquiesque.livejournal.com]

Regardless of what you decide to do, best of luck!