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Why There Are No Cookies.
A little while back, there was a flurry of talk about "cookies" for allies against sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. I know The Angry Black Woman wrote about it. I know there was a panel at Wiscon. I know at least one person who found herself in a rough spot after having some difficulty with the metaphor. It is a weird metaphor; I don't think it quite fits the situation. It relies on a very particularly view of a child, where a cookie is a big reward, not an adult view where we can buy our own cookies and give them out at work just because they were lying around the house and totally about to go stale.
Anyway, here's a quote from Influence on the subject:
ThuNYTX: 7:30; ThyLATX: 9:30.
Anyway, here's a quote from Influence on the subject:
Social scientists have determined that we accept inner responsibility for a behavior when we think we have chosen to perform it in the absence of strong outside pressure. A large reward is one such external pressure. It may get us to perform certain actions, but it won't get us to accept inner responsibility for the acts. [Footnote: In fact, large material rewards may even reduce or "undermine" our inner responsibility for an act, causing a subsequent reluctance to perform it when the reward is no longer present . . . .] Consequently, we won't feel committed to them. The same is true of a strong threat; it may motivate immediate compliance, but it is unlikely to produce long-term commitment.And that's why we don't give out cookies for good behavior, and why we don't promise accolades or other major rewards to allies. It also explains a bit why apologies after fandom pile-ons are so hollow (though the situation as a whole is much different).
All this has important implications for rearing children. It suggests that we should never heavily bribe or threaten our children to do the things we want them to believe in. Such pressures will probably produce temporary compliance with out wishes. However, if we want more than just that, if we want them to continue to believe in the correctness of what they have done, if we want them to continue perform the desired behavior when we are not present to apply those outside pressures, then we must somehow arrange for them to accept inner responsibility.
ThuNYTX: 7:30; ThyLATX: 9:30.
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that person pretty much got my vote for person who most didn't get it at the panel.
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