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Entry tags:
- depression,
- family,
- health,
- melancholy,
- meta:lj,
- music,
- people:wjukknibs,
- rants,
- tv,
- work
It's been a while.
So long, that certain ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wjukknibses found it necessary to comment on it. I don't blame him. A quick check of my calendar reveals that this has been the longest my journal has gone without an entry since my vacation in May.
The first problem was my sickness. It turned out not to be food poisoning, since my mother and coworker got the same thing (to a lesser degree) on the same weekend. In essence, though, all that happened was that my body ejected everything in it through vomit and diarrhea, which gave it some room to fight whatever bug it was. But the process left me undernourished and without sleep.
On Saturday, when I realized I was vomiting, I called in sick for work. I spent the entire night in a fugue of Cartoon Network. In fact, I spent most of that weekend in a fugue of Cartoon Network. See, there isn't a whole lot on in the wee hours of the weekend. On weekdays, there're network news and reruns of Conan, but on the weekends, it's infomercial, infomercial, infomercial. Except for Cartoon Network, which was holding a Cartoon Cartoon marathon all weekend. Which I watched, all weekend.
I know that it's customary to lie in bed or on the couch and watch TV when one is sick, but for me, there's something more than that. I don't get sick very often. Sure, I'll catch a cold now and then, or maybe get feverish, but only rarely do I get knock-out, shivery-all-over, can't-eat-solids, can't-drink-liquids, can-barely-breathe-gases, gibbering-to-myself sick. And I hate it. So much.
It scares me to be that out of things, and the only thing that really helps is talking to people. Not for any particular reason, just to be able to talk to someone. Sometimes, I don't even make sense. Once, I was so feverish I called a friend and babbled a mile a minute while shivering in my dorm room. And if it's impossible to reach someone, say because everyone is asleep, the next best thing is to have some constant low-level stimulus. Like the television. Which is why I got so upset that there wasn't a good variety of shows on. Just perpetual Powerpuffs and endless Eds.
So the four days of illness left me both shaking and shaken, and it took some time for me to get back to normal. I had to miss a concert I was looking forward to because I still needed the sleep. And I've been very leery around food. Vomiting for the first time in almost three years will do that to one. (And that was alcohol vomit, which, though unpleasant, was expected. I can't even remember the last time I vomited due to illness.)
And since my return, it's been every kind of busy at work. The theory is that all the attorneys wanted their documents finished before the holiday weekend, so they've been dumping stuff on us. In addition, there are a few big cases starting up that require lots of attention, hand-holding, and explanations as to why the four boxes you didn't tell me about before can't make it to San Jose by nine a.m. since you are dropping them in front of me at three a.m. Sigh.
But today has been very serene, since everyone except for a few delusional paralegals has left for the holiday, offering me a chance to keep you all up to date. It also gave me a chance to do the week's crossword puzzles:
MonNYTX: 5:15. TueNYTX: 5:30. WedNYTX: 11:45. ThuNYTX: 8:30. 51A made it all worth it. FriNYTX: 16. Simple, once I realized which guesses were wrong. SatNYTX: 22. I had to research the 31A, 33D, 40A triad. SunNYTX: 35. For such a transparent theme, this one proved very difficult. Great grid too.
wjukknibses found it necessary to comment on it. I don't blame him. A quick check of my calendar reveals that this has been the longest my journal has gone without an entry since my vacation in May.The first problem was my sickness. It turned out not to be food poisoning, since my mother and coworker got the same thing (to a lesser degree) on the same weekend. In essence, though, all that happened was that my body ejected everything in it through vomit and diarrhea, which gave it some room to fight whatever bug it was. But the process left me undernourished and without sleep.
On Saturday, when I realized I was vomiting, I called in sick for work. I spent the entire night in a fugue of Cartoon Network. In fact, I spent most of that weekend in a fugue of Cartoon Network. See, there isn't a whole lot on in the wee hours of the weekend. On weekdays, there're network news and reruns of Conan, but on the weekends, it's infomercial, infomercial, infomercial. Except for Cartoon Network, which was holding a Cartoon Cartoon marathon all weekend. Which I watched, all weekend.
I know that it's customary to lie in bed or on the couch and watch TV when one is sick, but for me, there's something more than that. I don't get sick very often. Sure, I'll catch a cold now and then, or maybe get feverish, but only rarely do I get knock-out, shivery-all-over, can't-eat-solids, can't-drink-liquids, can-barely-breathe-gases, gibbering-to-myself sick. And I hate it. So much.
It scares me to be that out of things, and the only thing that really helps is talking to people. Not for any particular reason, just to be able to talk to someone. Sometimes, I don't even make sense. Once, I was so feverish I called a friend and babbled a mile a minute while shivering in my dorm room. And if it's impossible to reach someone, say because everyone is asleep, the next best thing is to have some constant low-level stimulus. Like the television. Which is why I got so upset that there wasn't a good variety of shows on. Just perpetual Powerpuffs and endless Eds.
So the four days of illness left me both shaking and shaken, and it took some time for me to get back to normal. I had to miss a concert I was looking forward to because I still needed the sleep. And I've been very leery around food. Vomiting for the first time in almost three years will do that to one. (And that was alcohol vomit, which, though unpleasant, was expected. I can't even remember the last time I vomited due to illness.)
And since my return, it's been every kind of busy at work. The theory is that all the attorneys wanted their documents finished before the holiday weekend, so they've been dumping stuff on us. In addition, there are a few big cases starting up that require lots of attention, hand-holding, and explanations as to why the four boxes you didn't tell me about before can't make it to San Jose by nine a.m. since you are dropping them in front of me at three a.m. Sigh.
But today has been very serene, since everyone except for a few delusional paralegals has left for the holiday, offering me a chance to keep you all up to date. It also gave me a chance to do the week's crossword puzzles:
MonNYTX: 5:15. TueNYTX: 5:30. WedNYTX: 11:45. ThuNYTX: 8:30. 51A made it all worth it. FriNYTX: 16. Simple, once I realized which guesses were wrong. SatNYTX: 22. I had to research the 31A, 33D, 40A triad. SunNYTX: 35. For such a transparent theme, this one proved very difficult. Great grid too.