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Aug. 5th, 2003
I was writing about my relationship with Wendy, was 80% of the way through, and the window disappeared. I don't know what happened.
I'm pissed. There's an emotional load on me from the relationship that I can't shake. She's really depressed right now, and I can't deal with it. I want to be friends, but I need some away time. I can't deal with every little thing.
Why doesn't she believe me when I say that she's dangerously depressed and needs help? Why can't she seal with this for a second without me.
This and more is what I'm channeling into Puzzle Pirates. Also why I'm not cleaning my pigsty of a room.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wjukknibs, want to go out for breakfast this week? Please?
I'm pissed. There's an emotional load on me from the relationship that I can't shake. She's really depressed right now, and I can't deal with it. I want to be friends, but I need some away time. I can't deal with every little thing.
Why doesn't she believe me when I say that she's dangerously depressed and needs help? Why can't she seal with this for a second without me.
This and more is what I'm channeling into Puzzle Pirates. Also why I'm not cleaning my pigsty of a room.
wjukknibs, want to go out for breakfast this week? Please?Some Information.
Aug. 5th, 2003 07:12 amMy last entry was written quickly, in a fury at LiveJournal for deleting my original post. I quite forgot that some of the information in the lost post was important. Like the fact that Wendy and I broke up last week.
I wrote all about the stuff leading up to it, but I don't feel like writing them again. I didn't feel like writing them in the first place, but knew that I had to do it anyway, to get it out of my head. Now, they're mostly out, and I don't want to repeat it all over again. But, in terms of the aftermath, Wendy's really depressed right now, was already, independent of the break-up. Like much of her depression, it's keyed into employment, or lack thereof. But now, she's also trying to deal with her first "amicable" break-up. One which doesn't leave one with the aid of deep loathing for the other person involved to get through things.
She woke up in tears, and cornered me on AIM asking why the relationship would be over if we're still fond of each other. Well, that's not prescisely true; she knew the reasons why. When we broke up, it was clear to us both that communication between us had a tendency to fall to pieces at a moments notice, so we were both mentally ready to go back to being friends, but now she's wracked with guilt that she may have screwed up something good.
I know we're still friends, but I don't really feel capable of being the main person in charge of helping her get over our relationship. I've got my own getting over of it to do. Beyond that, I'm also worried about her feeling depressed.
So, this is still very disjointed, but maybe that helps a little bit more.
I wrote all about the stuff leading up to it, but I don't feel like writing them again. I didn't feel like writing them in the first place, but knew that I had to do it anyway, to get it out of my head. Now, they're mostly out, and I don't want to repeat it all over again. But, in terms of the aftermath, Wendy's really depressed right now, was already, independent of the break-up. Like much of her depression, it's keyed into employment, or lack thereof. But now, she's also trying to deal with her first "amicable" break-up. One which doesn't leave one with the aid of deep loathing for the other person involved to get through things.
She woke up in tears, and cornered me on AIM asking why the relationship would be over if we're still fond of each other. Well, that's not prescisely true; she knew the reasons why. When we broke up, it was clear to us both that communication between us had a tendency to fall to pieces at a moments notice, so we were both mentally ready to go back to being friends, but now she's wracked with guilt that she may have screwed up something good.
I know we're still friends, but I don't really feel capable of being the main person in charge of helping her get over our relationship. I've got my own getting over of it to do. Beyond that, I'm also worried about her feeling depressed.
So, this is still very disjointed, but maybe that helps a little bit more.
Change of Plans.
Aug. 5th, 2003 08:34 amWell, plans have been changed, and it looks like I won't be going to New York for Labor Day, anymore. I think that, perhaps, I should hold a big-ass barbecue on that Sunday. I always clean up better for a party, and it'll be nice to have people over. I should check to see what my family is doing, first though.
TueNYTX: 6.
TueNYTX: 6.