Scientolog 2.

New mail. See, I was serious.

This one's a pamphlet, folded into sixths. The cover: "Here is the simplicity of FSMING FOR THE FLAG." The picture is of two blonde women in their late 30s, early 40s sitting at a laptop. Apparently they're in a cafeteria, because in the blurry background, there are some glass-doored refrigerators that look like they have drinks in them.

Unfolding once, I see a black-and-white picture of a bunch of people in front of a window painted with "616 Hubbard Association of Scientologists." Underneath, there's a quote from Hubbard, but what's more interesting is the citation, "From HCO PL of 12 December 1979R, AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL FSMs." I may start adding letters to all of my dates too. If anyone asks, I'll pretend it's from the Mayan Calendar.

Nothing strikes me much after unfolding the pamphlet fully. However, the three non-Hubbard pictures all feature one of the women from the first page. Apparently, going through the pamphlet means following her through her path to . . . whatever.

Pieces of Mail: 2
Celebrity Name-Checks: 1
SJAs (Scientology Jargon Abbreviations): 7
Hubbard Sightings: 2
Typos: 0
Cute Girls: 0
Yellow Ties: 15

(I'm counting "1979R" as an SJA, not a typo.)

WedNYTX: 8:30.