Listening

In working to do better with anti-racism, anti-sexism, and other anti-blankisms, I've learned two very useful general rules.

1. When talking about a nonprivileged group that you are not a member of, check with directly members of that group to see if you're completely wrong. (Finding several persons' opinions that they have already made on the subject can work, but not if it's been filtered through a privileged lens like the mainstream media.)
   
2. After talking about a nonprivileged group that you are not a member of, if members of that group disagree with you, listen to them. (Even if you think they seem very angry, and even if you followed rule 1.)

I conjecture that when there is an increase in the rate that these rules are violated by a person or group, there is a related, exponential growth of Internet drama.

I started thinking about these rules in relation to the Prop 8 blame game, though in this very journal, it's also arisen in terms of the gulf between the privileged group of straight people and the queer community pursuing their rights.

There was more I was going to say, but while dedicating more time than I had expected to the gulf above, slit really laid out everything there needs to be said among white people in the Left.

1. Think about how you use civil-rights imagery.
   
2. Think about how you talk about "sex" and "freedom."
   
3. Think about how you talk about Black churches.
   
4. Think about how you talk about your neighborhood.
   
5. Think about how you talk about other people's neighborhoods.
   
6. Queerness does not negate whiteness. Neither does communism, anarchism, or any other brand of radical politics.
   
7. Acknowledge your debt.
   
8. Stop assuming African-American support.
   
9. Stop assuming African-American NON-support.
   
10. Finally, there are queer people of color!

—"Open Letter to White Activists," slit

Probably one more thing abou marriage tomorrow, something personal this time.